How Malcolm Reynolds Learned to Knock
by WargishBoromirFan
Summary: It took him a while, but Mal eventually learned why it is best not to barge into everything. Rating for subject matter.
1. I

A/N: Not my characters. This series of drabbles is complete, but I'll post them in chapter format as I remember to. Rating for mature subject matter, although there's nothing graphic.

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I. 

The first time Malcolm Reynolds walked in on his mother, he was too young to understand what was going on. Later, she'd tried to explain that she liked Danny very, very much, which was why she'd invited him up to the main farm house. That was all right, Mal had decided. He liked Danny too. The man always had a treat for him once Mal finished his chores. And Danny always watched Mal real careful when they worked together around the heavy equipment.

Three weeks later, Danny was fired and left the farm. Ma Reynolds wouldn't tell her son why.


	2. II

A/N: Not mine. Inara will show up by next chapter, I promise.

II.

By the time he joined up, Mal figured he knew about all there was to know about sex. His Ma had raised him to be a gentleman, but you don't stay dumb about go se like that on a farm. The army, though, that was an experience. The stories Ma had always hushed up around the farm about Reavers and Companions and other feng le stuff weren't the half of what he heard. It weren't just hearing, though. The crazy corrupted Core-folk weren't the only ones with appetites, and it made his stomach twist to think how close the edge of the dark must be, that he was seeing Reaver-like behavior from his own side.


	3. III

A/N: Joss is boss.

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III.

What Zoe did was her own business. Wasn't like she chose to share her hopes and dreams with him much, anyway; she just followed Mal because he'd been her Sarge and they'd been lucky enough to make it out together. He liked her because she knew how to play the no-strings game. (It was a silly game, but they were both good at it.) What Wash did in his free time was none of Mal's business, either. But it was Mal's ship, gorramit, and here he oughta have a little control. So how did that Serra woman get around him by offering them her shuttle?


	4. IV

A/N: I own nothing.

IV.

Mal had come to expect trouble from Bester. From day one, he'd been inviting over company and staying out too late and leaving the engine work to Wash. Wash wasn't bad to Serenity, but he didn't come with a list twice as long as Mal's arm recommending him as a mechanic. They'd been stuck on this gorram dirt-ball for three gorram weeks and Miss Serra had complained at length about a pass Bester had made at her and Mal had had quite enough. Bester's bunk was empty, so Mal stomped and hollered down to the engine room, further incensed. "BESTER!"


	5. V

A/N: Just when I think I've got a regular schedule for updates I miss one, but you get an extra drabble out of it, at least. Not my characters.

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V.

This wasn't necessary. Truthfully, he was treading on thin ground with their contract to be doing it. If she caught him outside the shuttle while she was entertaining a client, Mal fully expected her to take right off; hang the short range of those engines.

Good thing for him then - she wasn't entertaining at the moment. She was looking to entertain, certainly, if those bleating moneyed pleas coming from her wavescreen meant anything, but she hadn't selected one yet. Mal listened along from the door, trying to figure out just what words got a man into Inara Serra's bed.


	6. VI

A/N: Not mine. Romance fic? Whatever gave you that impression? (Warg turned away, whistling innocently...)

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VI. 

He knew Kaylee wasn't as innocent as she looked. Mal knew what it was like, growing up on a Rim backwater. He'd done it himself. But all that hadn't quite prepared him for just how inventive she could get. Maybe it was just that the doctor had had all those fancy anatomy lessons, but Simon was the one tied up with some fair strong-looking knots. Maybe it had to do with Kaylee's engine training. Well, Mal could certainly say one thing: the boy truly wasn't as stupid as he looked sometimes. Very carefully, Mal shut the door and walked away.


	7. VII

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A/N: Not mine. This is the last one, for the completists out there. Would you belive that this fic's gotten more hits than my Boromance that has thirty-three chapters and sixty-five reviews? Hmm... What does that say, statistic-wise?

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VII. 

"River!"

Mal startled, turned, and looked up into a familiar not-quite-all-there devilish grin. "You know better, Albatross."

"She is still getting profit from Inara's copulation," the girl in the ceiling said. "The brother owes her fifty dollars. Jayne also owes her payment in form of favors and services. Does that make her a House Mother?"

"Absolutely not." Mal rolled over in the bed, clutching the sheets to him.

"No, one rather supposes that you will." River ducked back into the air vent and replaced the ceiling panel. "Or rather, a boat mother…" she murmured to herself, crawling out of range.


End file.
